Something’s missing July 13, 2008

At age 20, nearing 21 next month, I feel that lots of things are missing in my life, things that I need not list down here as 1) I don’t think you, my reader, if you exist at all, care; and, 2) they are just simply too many to mention, most of them running on batteries actually. I believe such things do not sound sooooo Atenean, philosophical and mature, but heck, at times I just wished I had the money to buy everything that I wanted, tho I know that these won’t really make me happy.

In our lives, we experience this chasm, this empty void that we try so hard to fill, but we find nothing that suffices to feed that desire to be complete. We could’ve wandered around shopping, buying the latest gadgets we could get our hands (and wallets emptied) on, fucked someone senseless just because we felt the libido kick up, but nothing ever fills up that empty space. We are always looking for, as Shel Silverstein would coin it, our Missing Piece. But then again… it is in being broken and incomplete that God can enter our lives. Otherwise, we would be very boastful, very proud, as we won’t feel that we would ever have a need for Him.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God,
and His righteousness;
and all these things shall be added unto you.
– Matthew 6:33

What awe this knowledge brings to me each and everyday…that such a wonderful God would give up His life, just to save a wretched one like me, one who tends to forget how a Christian, who experienced the grace of God through Salvation, should live, act, breathe like Him. I can only marvel at God’s stubborn love for us, His persistence…on how He only asks a tiny thing for OUR salvation: that we accept Him as our Saviour, that we love Him wholeheartedly…that we just LET Him fill that void in us, for us.

No more talk of darkness
forget these wide eyed fears
I’m here, nothing can harm you
My words will warm and calm you

Let me be your freedom
let daylight dry your tears
I’m here with you beside you
To guard you and to hide you

Love Me, that’s all I ask of you

But there are times that I still find this hard to do. That’s why I always ask. Ano ba ako sa Iyo Panginoon para ako’y ibigin Mo nang ganito?